(Source: hellagayeveryday, via fluent-in-lesbianism)
(Source: moronicalake, via carlifuckinglloyd)
Who needs a boyfriend when I have a can of Pringles
I meant this as in having food NOT USING THE PRINGLES CAN AS A DILDO
(via fartgallery)
(Source: ForGIFs.com, via thealbinoweave)
My cat brought us a present today. I have never seen a rabbit SO angry.
(via carlifuckinglloyd)
When people in movies run directly away from the train / boulder / truck / etc instead of just like, taking two steps to the side of it
OH NO A GIGANTIC TREE FALLING OVER *runs away directly along its length*
(Source: hama0n, via thealbinoweave)
why confront something when you can just avoid it for the rest of your life
If you didn’t sear the flesh off the backs of your thighs going down a metal slide at least once when you were a kid, your childhood sucked
misconceptions about strippers.
pussy preach more sense than the fuckin government.
I want to break necks when people shade strippers. Let’s see your janky ass get out there and look that cute in 6 inch heels for 8 hours, smiling the entire time, stroking egos, pretending a dude’s breath doesn’t smell like a rotten animal.
Truth.
My sister has a Masters in Education. She got a job at one of the poorest schools in the city, but didn’t make enough money to pay to keep her tiny house heated through the Oregon winter or buy enough food or take her dog to the vet (first person who drops the word rehome gets a kick in the face.) so she quit and the only job she could get because she’s “overqualified” to work at Fred Meyers was at a strip club because she minored in ballet. I think people forget that stripping is like any other job: you have to have some experience.
And all those crumpled one dollar bills? 20% of that goes back into the club because strippers are renting the stages they dance on. Sometimes it’s more.
Despite all of that, my sister makes more money than she ever did because she works 80 hour weeks and literally never takes a day off. She teaches classes to drunk white girls, she does private parties, she does entertainment for conferences and shows.
When I had to go to the ER last February and got a bill for $800 that I couldn’t pay, my sister sent me money so I wouldn’t be sent to collections.
My sister is the classiest motherfucker in a pair of six inch heels. Anyone who calls her a dumb slut or a hoe gets their shit wrecked.
that’s the best thing i ever just heard get said
(Source: pink-vulva, via carlifuckinglloyd)
today in between periods i was passing the boys bathroom and out of nowhere i heard like a group of guys sINGING TOXIC BY BRITNEY SPEARS AND IN THAT MOMENT EVERYTHING CHANGED BECAUSE IS THAT WHAT BOYS DO WHEN THEY GO TO THE BATHROOM I WANNA BE A BOY
THIS HAS SO MANY NOTES YET NO ONE HAS GIVEN ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER????
WHY CANT WE SING ONE OF EARTHS TRADITIONAL BALLADS WITHOUT BEING QUESTIONED!?!?
(Source: drunkpeeta, via carlifuckinglloyd)
